


You're Not What They Say

by Northern_Lady



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Emotional Abuse, Legilimency, Loneliness, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Teacher-Student Relationship, referenced underage kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22748284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: A transfer student arrives at Hogwarts and reminds Severus of Lily. Just a short one shot story for now.
Kudos: 2





	You're Not What They Say

Severus had been informed before his class began that day that there was to be a new student transferring into his class. Transfers between wizarding schools didn’t happen often but they did sometimes occur. This new student was coming to his Advanced Potions class from Russia. Her mother was a mediwitch and had apparently taken a job at Saint Mungo’s and moved with her daughter to Britain. Anya Ivanov was eighteen years old and was attending Hogwarts for her last year of wizarding studies. His copy of her records suggested that she had very good grades and no trouble with taking classes in English. Despite all this, he did not look forward to taking a student of this age. It was easier to maintain order with the young students. Ordinarily a student of this age would have known him for years and would not dare question his rules. That simply might not be the case with this new student and it irritated him not knowing what to expect of her. 

The students began to gather for class and Anya was among the first to arrive. She walked into the classroom carrying her textbooks and for a moment Severus couldn’t breathe. Red hair, green eyes, Anya Ivanov was a near perfect copy of Lily Evans. With the exception of this Russian student being about five inches shorter than Lily had been, she was hardly any different at all. 

Somehow, Severus managed to get through the class in spite of how disturbing it was to have the image of Lily among his students. She stayed behind after the class had ended and waited for the class to clear out. He knew she intended to stay and ask him questions and he bit back his sense of panic at the prospect. He didn’t know why he should be worried. She wasn’t Lily. She wasn’t even a Griffindor. She wore Hufflepuff robes. She was a student and he was her teacher. He knew that and yet there was something about her….

“Might I ask you a question, sir?” she approached his desk. 

“Of course,” he said. 

“I found a copy of your required textbook in Russian but the Potions Dictionary comes only in English. My english is good enough most of the time but there are many words in the Dictionary that I am not familiar with. I’d like your permission to use a translator charm on the book. The charm is among the list of restricted charms for students, considered cheating in most cases. Would you be willing to allow it?” she asked, politely. Anya had only a vague Russian accent. 

“Of course. It will be removed,” he agreed without even really thinking it through. She thanked him and she walked away. He realized as he watched her go that she probably could have asked him for just about anything and he would have agreed to it. This was bad. This was very bad. 

***

A week passed and Severus managed to avoid Anya outside of classes. In the classes she attended, he was sure he had done his worst teaching ever. She flustered him. She was some seventeen years his junior, it was rumored that she had a boyfriend, and yet her presence flustered him all the same. If the students in that class noticed any difference in their professor they did not mention it. However, he himself noticed the difference and it angered him that he would allow himself to be distracted in this manner. He told himself over and over to simply ignore her. Anya was just another student. Then he would see those almond green eyes glance up at him while taking notes and he would forget what he had been speaking about. 

At the begining of the second week Anya came to class and it seemed clear that something was wrong. There was a redness around her eyes as if she had been recently crying and there were no smiles from her for the entire class period. Severus knew it was one of his concern, as much as he wanted to ask, he let her go without asking after her welfare. 

Late that afternoon when classes were ended he headed for a tree by the black lake where he liked to sit and read. Much to his surprise, he found Anya sitting there with a book of her own. She was not reading. She was crying. 

“I come to this spot to read sometimes as well,” he told her. “I see you are not reading though. Is something wrong?” There was nothing to be done but ask after her welfare. Anything else would seem rude and in truth, he wanted to know who had made her cry just so that he could end it. 

She nodded and wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her robe. “My mother says I may not go home on winter holiday.” 

“You mean back to Russia?” he supposed it would make sense that they might be unable to return, not having a home there any longer. 

Anya shook her head. “No, to her flat in London. Her new boyfriend doesn’t like me and since I am of age she says I’ll have to find my own arrangements.” She got to her feet. “I suppose it’s a silly thing to cry over. I’ll leave you to your reading spot.” 

“You needn’t leave. I will sit on the other side of the tree,” he told her. 

She nodded, almost relieved somehow. 

“And it is not a silly thing to cry over.” he assured her before moving to the other side of the large tree trunk. 

Anya went back to the spot where she had been sitting and silence fell for a short while. “Professor?” Anya spoke after a few minutes. “Can you tell me, how often is it safe to use a sleeping potion?” 

Severus could tell by the way she asked the question, or perhaps as a result of his legilimency picking up on her emotions, that this question was close to her heart. “Are you having difficulty sleeping?” he asked, greatly saddened at the prospect. 

Leaves shuffled around on the ground and a few twigs snapped as Anya got to her feet on the other side of the tree. He worried for a brief moment that his response had offended her and she was leaving. Anya didn’t leave. She came around to his side of the tree and sat down next to him, her back to the trunk of the tree just a foot away. 

“I am. I am having trouble sleeping...and...I’ve been taking a sleeping potion every night...except now I have this stomach ache...and I thought of going to the hospital wing but I’m afraid mother will be informed if I do...and...I just need to find a way to sleep. There has to be a better potion, right?” 

She glanced up at him, her green eyes so full of worry and hope that Severus found it difficult to respond with the truth. “No,” he told her sadly. “There is no potion that is free of side effects. Perhaps it would be best to address whatever issue is keeping you from sleeping in the first place.” 

Anya bit her lip as if trying to bite back tears. “If that would work, I would have done it a long time ago.” 

“Is it your mother?” he asked, making a guess at the most obvious. 

“Yes,” Anya picked up a twig on the ground and snapped it in half. 

“The two of you do not get along?” He well remembered what it was like to not get along with a parent. It has been his father in his case but it was a sentiment he had never forgotten. 

“We do not...and it’s probably my fault…” 

“Somehow, I doubt that.” 

She made no reply to that for a moment. “You know, the other students say a lot of things about you? They’re wrong.” 

Severus was well aware of what the students said about him. He had been called everything from morose to strict to scary and greasy. “I doubt that as well. Whatever your fellow students have told you about me is most likely true.” 

“It’s not. It’s not true. It can’t be. Not when….” she trailed off before finishing her thought. 

“Not when, what?” curiousity compelled him to ask. 

“Since I have been here, Flitwick has marked down my grade for grammatical errors, McGonagall has scolded me three times for falling asleep in her class, I think Grubblyplank hates me and...you’re the only Professor here who has helped me with anything.” 

“That would be a first, then,” he admitted. “Helpfulness is not one of my usual qualities.” 

“If that’s true, then why did you do it?” 

“You remind me of someone,” he told her honestly. 

Her eyes widened with understanding. “Someone you cared about?” 

He nodded. “If that makes you uncomfortable, I will stop being helpful.” 

“No it...it’s okay. You remind me of someone too.” 

Severus raised an eyebrow, intrigued. Anya did not elaborate though and he didn’t ask. Instead he did something he knew he probably shouldn’t do. He reached into her mind with Legilimency. 

He learned a great deal about her in a very short amount of time. Her father had died when she was six years old. She had only a few memories of the man, the most prominent being of his death, a death she blamed herself for. She had been playing and chased a ball out into the street. Her father had run after her and grabbed her to save her from traffic. He had saved her life by shielding her with his body but the traffic had killed him. Her mother Irina had openly blamed her for it. Not only that but Anya had never been able to win her mother’s approval in anything. Everything Anya did was wrong. Her clothes were wrong, her choices in friends were terrible, her plans were stupid, the list went on...To make matters worse, Irina had been through four muggle boyfriends since her husband’s death. The first one Amya had hated because she didn’t want her father replaced and in the end he had left, driven away by seven year old Anya. The second one had accidentally discovered Anya’s magic and left in terror. The third...well based on Anya’s memories, the man called Ivan was very much a younger version of Severus. He even looked similar. Ivan had been morose and sullen but he had also been kind to Anya and offered her approval for the first time in her life. In the end she had developed feelings for him and at age fifteen she had kissed him. Ivan had gently pushed her away and told Anya it could not happen again. Two days later he broke up with Irina and worst of all, he told Irina why he was leaving. Irina hated her daughter and blamed her for destroying every relationship she’d ever had. Anya was a broken and lonely young woman. 

“I have a confession to make,” Severus told her. In those few moments of silence she had taken out her book. She closed it again on hearing his words. 

“I know,” she said, tears in her eyes. “I’m a legilimens too. Lily was remarkable but I’m not her.” 

“And I am not Ivan.” 

She nodded, more tears spilling out. “Can I sit here a while with you and read anyhow?” 

“You may,” he said, not wanting either of them to go anytime soon. 

“And we can come here tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow as well,” he agreed. It was an easy decision


End file.
